After Defeat (Poetry)

Artwork by: Todd Marinovich

There's a downpour in the windows to my soul
In my hand is a gun...
The bullets pierce deep into my confidence
These toxins are altering my consciousness

Will I ever know success?
Hopefully we meet before I get to know death
None of your words will numb this pain
None of your uplifting speeches will rekindle my flame
The fictitious flattery does nothing for my tortured soul

The despair is transformed into anger
Transformed into blame
I was so committed...
So I'll blame my failure on conspiracies and critics
Maybe I'll just curl up and die
Or maybe I'll convince myself I never really tried

-Jon Chambers